5 Attributes of a Leader: Part II
Servant Leadership
In the first part, we covered the first two points. Now we will cover the last three. For reference, here they are again:
Leading implies you’re taking someone to a new place.
Leading implies someone is voluntarily following.
Leaders serve first and eat last.
Leadership is serving those you lead from underneath.
Leaders sacrifice knowing it’s a thankless job.
3. Leaders serve first and eat last.
One of the changes that was made when I married Jennifer was the way we were going to raise her son. For example: We were having a family lunch, as we often do in my family. My bonus son runs to the front and gets the first plate, as if it’s some sort of bragging right. He then attempts to get seconds before everyone had gotten a plate of food. I stopped him and just said to wait for everyone to eat. It made sense to him; he had just never been told.
Children don’t just know. They have to be told. So later we had a talk. Our new rule was that any time we were having a get together, every female and every child will get a plate of food before we get a plate. No exceptions. It took a couple of small reminders, but before long, he was naturally waiting for the ladies and children to eat. Leaders eat last. Part of eating last is serving. Serve them first. You come second. Let them play the game first. Let them pick the movie. Let them share their idea before you share yours. There are so many reasons for this, but the main reason is because that’s what Jesus did. Everyone came first when they were around Him. We as leaders should be no different.
4. Leadership is serving those you lead from underneath.
I’m a big sports fan. I’m watching a football game. After the game, the winning coach is asked about the big win. He says, “The quarterback made great plays. The O-line blocked for him. Defense did their job. All around great team effort. I’m proud of my guys.” The following week, this same coach lost. He was asked to summarize the loss. Coach said, “This is our fault as coaches. We didn’t put our players in the best position to win. We will look over what we did wrong, instill a new plan for next week, and bounce back.” That coach is a true leader. He gave those he leads credit for the successes while he took blame for the loss.
I can remember messing up badly during worship one Sunday to the point where it was recognizable. I texted the pastor and worship pastor and apologized. It was my fault. The pastor replied, “No need to apologize. We should have prepared you better. This is our fault.” The truth is it was MY fault. I knew it. I was merely apologizing. Yet a real leader, my pastor, chose to take the blame for the loss, or mistake. Leaders serve from underneath, lifting those they lead, giving credit to those they lead for the wins and taking the blame for the losses.
5. Leaders sacrifice knowing it’s a thankless job.
If you don’t understand how thankless it is to be a leader, then you have never been one. There are primarily three positions in life that are the most thankless positions in America, in my opinion. Fathers, police officers, and sports officials. I am two of those and it is a lonely place, at times.
I remember the time my daughter needed her car worked on. I worked on it for around 3 hours. When I was done, I hadn’t even shut her car door from pulling it back into the carport when she pulled the keys out of my hand and was in the car and gone with no words to me whatsoever. I just stood there and watched as she went down the driveway. I looked through the kitchen window and saw my wife laughing hysterically. She knew what had just happened. And I laughed with her. I didn’t sign up to be a dad to get thanked. I knew I wouldn’t get thanked. I wanted to be a father anyway.
I referee college and high school basketball. One night after a high school game at a Christian school, I recall seeing this elderly lady walking towards us as we were trying to head to our locker room. She had this sweet smile on her face and was clearly headed for us to tell us something. I thought that I should hear this sweet old lady out. She leaned in and said in the sweetest, softest voice, “I keep the clock at the community center and I have seen refs before and you all are by far the worst refs I’ve ever seen in my life!” That was NOT what I was expecting to come out of her mouth. I didn’t sign up to be a referee to be popular. I didn’t sign up to be thanked, because I knew that wasn’t happening. I signed up to be a leader to kids and try to have a positive effect on their experience as a student athlete. Leaders sacrifice knowing it’s a thankless job.
Leadershp is not always what we thought we signed up for. But the consequences are temporary, the rewards are vast, and the benefits outlive us.
Stay Classy GP!
Grainger